I was walking Satie, my gorgeous American Staffordshire Terrier, yesterday when a thought came into my head that I just cant’t shake. Am I a Disney Villain? Please allow me explain…
When I look at Satie and watch her sweet little eyes dart around, I can tell her internal monologue is the exact same as Snow White. In her little world, she is surrounded by terrifying, overwhelming things and she’s just a little tiny princess who doesn’t know what to do. Once, she barked bloody murder when I pulled out a wine glass. The other day I couldn’t get her to put her leash on because there was a bag of trash by the front door. This girl is scared of EVERYTHING.
People often ask me, “Was she abused?” when they see her cowering when I move a book or fluff a pillow. The answer, I’m pretty sure, is NO. I got her at twelve weeks old from the nicest woman who ever lived who wept when she handed her over. I think Satie’s fears are innate, something built into her DNA, maybe the result of trauma faced by her ancestors. All I know is that since I’ve had her, she’s definitely been treated like a little princess so it makes me laugh to think about her seeing herself as a dainty little flower - that’s certainly not how other people see her.
A potato? Yes. A long, delicious piece of salmon sashimi? Yes. A snorty pig? Yes. Delicate? No.
Satie could eat my face off and murder me instantly, but in her mind she is the victim in all this. Her cute little ears are almost always slicked back, something I’ve gotten so used to it surprises me when people notice.
This isn’t to say Satie is terrified 24/7. Most of the time she is lazy and/or playful. If I have people over, she’ll run from guest to guest sniffing and inspecting before moving on. Like all princesses, she loves a ball and can be quite a good hostess. She will charm the socks off everyone then run away from them because she doesn’t care and has other places to be. She knows to leave her people wanting more.
I think my view of my dog as a delicate little princess is probably exacerbated by the fact that when people see us coming, they tend to be fearful of her because she is a pit bull. If you know my dog’s personality, that response feels completely ridiculous. Sometimes I put her in a collar that has a bow on it or even some doggy pearls. I guess it’s just my way of say “It’s okay she’s not scary I promise!”
But if I were someone else (and I didn’t have a pit bull) I’d probably be afraid of my dog too. My thing with dogs is I don’t think any breed is fully “safe.” The price we pay for having little wild animals living with us, providing us unconditional love and affection, is that we can’t communicate with them and it’s possible they may malfunction at any time. All that being said, my understanding of my dog’s Snow White personality is partially a reaction to everyone thinking she’s aggressive.
Now, back to the walk where I realized I was the villain in this scenario. Think of all the movies where the protagonist is trapped by someone evil or who just doesn’t get it. Ariel’s dad. Cinderella’s Wicked Stepmother. Mother Gothel in “Tangled.” Judge Frollo in “Hunchback of Notre Dame.” According to Disney, the worst thing you could do is trap someone inside.
What do I do? Trap Satie inside all day long. Unless we’re on a walk, where she still has to remain leashed so she doesn’t run into the road or run up to a stranger and try to lick their face. While we’re on our walks, I have to watch Satie like a hawk because she has a my strange addiction to eating weird grasses and plants on the sly. She does it so quickly that I often don’t notice. Even her freedom isn’t that “free.”
Usually the plant eating isn’t a big deal, but yesterday after I guilted myself into taking Satie on a longer walk and didn’t notice her chow down on more than her usual share of grasses. So when we got home she did one of her favorite tricks, barfing grass all over a blanket I’d just washed.
Maybe she does deserve to be trapped inside forever, after all.
My goal is to get her a dog soon, I have a lot of guilt she doesn’t have a buddy to play with. But I’m not going to do that until I can really afford it (the vet visits, the food, the doggy daycare, and so on). For now, Satie will just be Cinderellaing all over my house, wondering when her Evil Non-Stepfather will let her go outside.
This may be an odd thing to say in this context, but I'm so glad you're an ultra-responsible dog owner. Thank you for giving Satie her best life.
I’m doing research on the history of (human) stress and honestly, the best book I’ve come about actual stress is one for dogs, The Stress Factor in Dogs by Kristina Spaulding. It’s a short read. Be ready to laugh when you see the cover but there might be something in there that will help Princess Piggy. ❤️