I Had a Mental Breakdown.

Don't worry, I'm fine now!

Last year was tough. This year I’m embracing confidence, joy, a renewed interest in my career, and an acceptance that I have no idea what is going to happen next. In other news, I’m hot now! Everyone wins!

If you follow my Instagram account, you may have noticed a vibe shift over the past few weeks. After four months of radio silence, I came back with a bang. My new content is livelier, sillier, quicker, and more joyful than it has been in a while. That is not a mistake. It’s a response to something that happened near the end of last year. I decided to take some time off making content on social media until I felt a desire to do it again. That break was really, really necessary as my level of burnout had reached an all-time high.

Around nine o clock on a dark December evening, I found myself covered in tears and sweat, crumpled on the floor of my kitchen. Surrounding me, the entire contents of my house covered in hand-written price tags. My whole life was for sale. You can call me a lot of things, but lazy isn’t one of them. I can handle a lot. I started working when I was fourteen, I graduated early (with nearly perfect grades) with two degrees from one of the hardest universities in the world with undiagnosed severe ADHD. The feeling I felt that night was different than feelings I’d had before. I couldn’t stop my mind from racing, I didn’t know what to do with my limbs, I felt cold and hot, fast and slow, frenzied and comatose all at the same time. I didn’t recognize this state because I hadn’t been in it before.

I was having a nervous breakdown.