I’ve been feeling a lot more social lately so I’ve just been going with it. A few weeks ago Gregory, my tall, elegant interior designer friend, invited me to a warehouse party. It was a birthday celebration for a friend and featured a line-up of DJ’s, some of whom I knew personally. A warehouse party is just what it sounds like, a party thrown not in a bar or events venue, but an empty storefront or warehouse space rented just for the night. I tend to like them a but more than normal bars because the music and crowd is normally a bit more curated, offbeat, and interesting.
While I’m outgoing right now, I’m still in the midst of feeling like I don’t fully remember how going out world works. So my M.O. is normally to go with friends and stay with them the whole night. I like meeting new people but when it’s just a bunch of gay men, intentions can get confusing. We’re all potential mates for each other and that leads to some AWKWARD TIMES.
I have set an intention this year with how I present myself in “gay world.” Which is basically to treat others as I’d like to be treated and just be kind and outgoing to everyone, regardless of whether I see them as intimidating or not. Or whether I find them attractive. Gay guys can be so shell-shocked by growing up with rejection, that sometimes we can over-compensate by being judgy or biting as a means of protecting ourselves from future harm. But within the gay community, that can mean there’s a lot of hurt running around, thus causing more hurt.
I looked around the other day at my gym - populated predominantly by gay men - and realized I had so much subtext to with many of the men around me.
That guy woof’d me on Scruff.
I hooked up with that guy.
That guy tried to hook up with me at that party.
That guy dated my ex right after we broke up.
That guy has been chasing me for years.
I’ve had a crush on that guy for years and tried to talk to him once and he was an asshole.
And so on…
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