The last five years has felt simultaneously like it happened overnight and that it’s lasted forty years. Day to day, it seems like I’m just constantly swatting things away from myself, be it work or just the logistics of how I’m gonna make my life work. This era of my life has been grueling, but it has given me, finally, an ability to live in absolute uncertainty and chaos while still being at peace and generally feeling pretty happy. One thing that has come from this time is a desire to let go of grudges and negative emotions about previous relationships I’ve had.
Recently, however, a strange interaction at a party made me realize that while I have mended things with some of my exes and generally feel like we’re on good terms, their friends might be holding onto a conception of me fleshed out during the breakup period. That animosity can be uncomfortable when your face to face with your ex’s inner circle. Really uncomfortable.
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