I've Been an Airbnb Housekeeper for a Month Now.

Here's how it's going.

Cleaning the Londo Lodge Kitchen.

Lately, the phrase “The Doldrums of Summer” has been rattling around in my head. This time of year always feels a little… LONG. Everyone seems to be back from their European vacations so there’s no more living vicariously through people who actually leave their houses. The summer heat has really done its job this year - it’s been hot for two months straight in LA with little rest between heat waves. People seem to be settling back into work as fall approaches.

Last weekend was Labor Day Weekend. I actually had no idea it was a holiday until the Friday before, at which point I kind of shrugged and went about my day (I did laundry and cleaned my LA house). The last four years have felt weird, as if I’ve been missing my life while I spend all my time scrambling to make my future more stable than my past. And the end of summer feels much the same. “Oh, summer’s over. Guess I missed it.”

That’s a pretty shitty way to feel about life, just watching it slide by as you scramble to stay afloat. But it’s where I’ve been for years and very much what this summer had on order for me. Getting my Airbnb up and running has been a huge step in the right direction and one that I’m VERY thankful for. But I still have the same kinds of experiences that have plagued the last four years. Experiences like driving three hundred miles to my cabin with $20 in my bank account, unsure when money would clear so I could turn around and drive back to LA. I don’t let myself get too frazzled by that kind of thing, but it does stand in the way of feeling like I can fully relax, socialize normally, and return to a more “normal” life.

At the end of this year, we will have been in Pandemic times for five full years. And I think a lot of us are waiting for things to "go back to normal.” The constant worry about a recession and how it will affect peoples’ careers. The dull anxiety that the fabric of our society is unraveling. The ever present wonder as to when the good part of life, the part you’ve been working for your whole life, is going to start.

About a month ago, my house manager and housekeeper at Londo Lodge quit. And it’s been a really good thing for me, personally and financially. It’s completely changed my outlook and the way I feel about myself. I’m no longer scared to talk to people at parties. It’s honestly kind of fun to tell people I’m cleaning my own place - I take a lot of pride in making sure I’m a really good host. And because I haven’t had travel money, it’s been nice to get out of LA and have some time in nature, even if that time is mostly spent cleaning and fixing things around the house.

Thus far, I’ve been really happy with the way guests are treating the house. Aside from a bit of rough housing with the brand new, expensive faucets that’s led to them breaking multiple times, people have been pretty considerate. And I am still enjoying the cleaning work.

What I’m not enjoying is the drive. Driving six hundred miles a week is a lot. And doing so while other work is starting to amp up (I have some really fun makeovers and collaborations in the works) can feel a little crazy making.

I hate anything frantic. Like if another person is frantic, I’ll run away. And I hate it when I am frantic. So to avoid frantic moments like frantically trying to finish the laundry so I can load the car or frantically cleaning the house so I can get out of here, I’ve essentially changed my work schedule into an “always working” schedule.

The good thing about working all the time is that it lets me do my work at a more sustainable pace. The bad thing? There’s something a little frazzling about constantly being in a state of physical movement. I’m never *not* doing something mindless with my hands that prevents me from doing something mindful with my brain. What’s taking most of my time is cleaning and laundry - Londo Lodge has five king size beds with a LOT of bedding. So getting all that laundered can take a better portion of the week while I’m trying to keep up with meetings, work emails, coordinating collaborations, creating content (to attract more partnerships), and writing this newsletter.

You may or may not have noticed I didn’t publish an essay here last week. I was really disappointed about that but between attending multiple mandatory events and driving and cleaning and refusing to let my gym routine die, there just wasn’t time to collect my thoughts.

When I started cleaning my Airbnb, the plan was to clean it until I found a new team to do the job. And that’s what I have been doing (and doing a great job if I do say so myself). Luckily, two women who live across the street from me (and are a couple! Yay gays!) offered to help me so I am going to meet with them this week to chat about it. Ideally, I’d still like to come up every other visit or about twice a month so I can keep an eye on bigger cleaning projects and just stay on top of quality control.

All in all, I’ve enjoyed cleaning my home and have really loved the guest services element of managing my own Airbnb. There haven’t been any disasters yet which I feel lucky for.

Working every day isn’t new to me. When I first got out of college, I moved to New York and slept on sofas all summer. I had an unpaid internship doing music marketing and a full time job at the original Saks Fifth Avenue. I worked for 100 days straight that year and thought nothing of it. And I’ve done the same thing countless times throughout my adult life.

In the back of my head, I’m starting to wonder if things actually will change. If I’ll ever get to a point where I can relax or take a vacation again. And in thinking about that I’m, yet again, thinking about what I can do to lessen the amount of financial and logistical responsibility I have so I can actually live. No epiphanies yet, but it is on my mind.

It’s nice to be surviving, but there’s something kind of depressing about being forty-two, looking back over most of your existence, realizing you’ve spent most of it waiting for your life to start.