I don't go to the gym, but recently I went to the spa where my friend works, and when I went into the soaking pool I noticed a couple sitting together wearing sunglasses, which struck me as odd, since the pool is indoors. I decided that they both looked so insufferable, with faces resting in a expression I can only describe as a default mode of contempt, so I sat in the water with my eyes closed silently judging them for the lives that I imagined they have. I decided that Mr. Sunglasses was some sort of tech entrepreneur, who runs a business that no one can exactly explain what it makes, does, or how it earns any profit. I decided that Lady Sunglasses runs a trendy ceramics studio, selling lumpy, misshapen vessels for $250 a pop, minimum. They would introduce themselves at cocktail parties as "successful local business owners", but never mention the family money that made all of their unexamined privileges possible. Even though I know it's petty and silly to imagine what jerks this couple was based on nothing other than their sunglass wearing habits, I was a fun diversion. As an adult, I don't use my imagination as much as I did as a child, so I think it can be fun to create stories in our head, even about people we don't know by name but only see in passing.
Gay guys tend not to read my stuff. Plus it’s so anonymized they wouldn’t know anything unless they knew my full bio and worked out at the same gym. Possible tho! Which is why I try to generally be nice or be very vague about appearance.
"Even his blood is made of muscles" - I'm dying. And good for you for prioritizing your time to work out. I agree you have to be super protective of that time in this crazy world or there will always be something that feels more important. Every time you mention your gym all I can think is Jodie Foster...
These storylines are ah-mazing and I'm convinced you have found gym nirvana. This explains how you can spend 2-3 hours working out every day. Perfection piece!
I needed this today. My ADHD is raging and I have so much to do but I hate all of it, so this was the perfect procrastistraction* and I thank you for it.
Dead, dead, I’m cackling at this post and scaring my cat.
I once had a barre class with a girl who looked SO familiar and I told her so because I thought together we’d figure out where we’d met before. A different gym? No. A party? No. She gave me the icy stare of death and I couldn’t figure out why… until the teacher said “bye Kate!” after class and it was instantly clear that the reason I recognized her is that she was KATE MARA.
I don't go to the gym, but recently I went to the spa where my friend works, and when I went into the soaking pool I noticed a couple sitting together wearing sunglasses, which struck me as odd, since the pool is indoors. I decided that they both looked so insufferable, with faces resting in a expression I can only describe as a default mode of contempt, so I sat in the water with my eyes closed silently judging them for the lives that I imagined they have. I decided that Mr. Sunglasses was some sort of tech entrepreneur, who runs a business that no one can exactly explain what it makes, does, or how it earns any profit. I decided that Lady Sunglasses runs a trendy ceramics studio, selling lumpy, misshapen vessels for $250 a pop, minimum. They would introduce themselves at cocktail parties as "successful local business owners", but never mention the family money that made all of their unexamined privileges possible. Even though I know it's petty and silly to imagine what jerks this couple was based on nothing other than their sunglass wearing habits, I was a fun diversion. As an adult, I don't use my imagination as much as I did as a child, so I think it can be fun to create stories in our head, even about people we don't know by name but only see in passing.
i love Hot Guys at My Gym posts! I can't help wondering if they read your Substack and know who they are???
Gay guys tend not to read my stuff. Plus it’s so anonymized they wouldn’t know anything unless they knew my full bio and worked out at the same gym. Possible tho! Which is why I try to generally be nice or be very vague about appearance.
"Even his blood is made of muscles" - I'm dying. And good for you for prioritizing your time to work out. I agree you have to be super protective of that time in this crazy world or there will always be something that feels more important. Every time you mention your gym all I can think is Jodie Foster...
I will never say hello to her but I will cherish every single moment I spend next to that ICON.
Absolutely. I would also never say a word but would probably pass out and/or die, so you're playing it exactly right IMO.
I’m going with : “ too intimidated by me and your beauty”
These storylines are ah-mazing and I'm convinced you have found gym nirvana. This explains how you can spend 2-3 hours working out every day. Perfection piece!
I snorted while reading your post and my hubs asked if I was alright-such a great way to start my day! Thanks!
I needed this today. My ADHD is raging and I have so much to do but I hate all of it, so this was the perfect procrastistraction* and I thank you for it.
I love these, and your brain / writing style 😂
I’m standing here, snorting and cackling!
(you and Kelly hanging together must be hiLaire!)
Dead, dead, I’m cackling at this post and scaring my cat.
I once had a barre class with a girl who looked SO familiar and I told her so because I thought together we’d figure out where we’d met before. A different gym? No. A party? No. She gave me the icy stare of death and I couldn’t figure out why… until the teacher said “bye Kate!” after class and it was instantly clear that the reason I recognized her is that she was KATE MARA.
OMG you are so funny. The pickens at my gym are much slimmer but that's the difference between San Jose and Los Angeles