I fully understand this and will immediately switch to calling you OrlOndo instead of OrlAndo in my head. Since I first heard about you when someone mentioned your lovely anti-fireplace-tv stance on ig this morning, I don't feel like I've been misnaming you for tooo long.
I do absolutely feel your pain as I am from Ireland but live in Germany and many people have difficulty pronouncing my really very simple first name and surname, even after I've told them. Add to that the fact that there are also a couple of 'jokes' for both my names that I have been hearing for decades. Yep, I feel your pain.
I never knew why your house was called Londo Lodge ;-) I don't have a lot of insight on this, especially as I am neither a Native English nor Spanish speaker, but my gut reaction is, it's probably smarter to change one's name as an adult than as a teenager : at 16, I would probably have picked something trendy and then live with eternal regrets! (This is not saying that you need to change your name, btw)
My name is Marie. Not Mary. Not Maria. My maiden name is hard to pronounce--when my brother was having chemo, he started counting all the variations people used. I 'think he got to 10 before the game lost its appeal. My married name is even worse. It's pronounced WATT'er'lun. So many people, even those I've known for years, put the stress on the LOND. And then they spell it Waterland. I've lost count of how many places I've bee"mn to where I'ver been a customer/patient/client for years, and been told I don't exist in their accounts. Sigh.
Also my "mother tongue", my first language, is French. I can also get by in Spanish. I think being bilingual is a wonderful advantage, and I don't get offended when I hear other langu..ages spoken around me. But that's a rant for another day
Being from South Africa, with 11 official languages, as a white person, I make a concerted effort to listen and ask if I’m pronouncing their name correctly. I’m sure it drives a lot of people insane with our lack of understanding or care. Come to Cape Town, people will listen and hear.
Sometimes people need you to give them the answer so it doesn't become a question. A friend of mine introduces herself as "Oni, like Toni without the T". That saves her time and energy every single time.
Unfortunately, a lot of people can have "simple brain" reactions to even the most basic names. I have always gone by my full, first name, Catherine. Two syllables (Kath-rin). There have been many occasions when I've introduced myself as Catherine and the person decides that they'd rather just call me Cathy...because that's easier? It's still just two syllables. No time was saved by shortening my name. However, after reading your story, I realized that perhaps people thought they heard Cathy and I've spent all this time being angry for no reason! Also, I've been called stuck up for going by Catherine, rather than by a shortened version, for reasons I will never understand.
It’s my rule to call people in the way they wish to be called. It is respectful, and I think most people I have met feel the same way. Sadly too many people that I’ve met do not feel that way.
For as long as I’ve followed you on social media, I’m used to Orlando (as Or-Lon-do). I’m sorry to hear you are encountering friction because of your name. It says a lot about those people’s character and worldview.
LOVE THIS. It’s natural to be curious where someone is from but it’s annoying when no questions where white people are from. It’s like “what race are you because you don’t belong here”. As an Asian I’m constantly asked “where are you from?” Which is the nice way of asking your race. I’d get this question 3x a day as a retail worker. It’s exhausting and I’d always just say Canada to make people really earn it. A good policy, never ask! If it doesn’t come up naturally it’s unimportant. I know a lot of Asians that were adopted by white parents who have no connection with their birth country at all who have to awkwardly listen to “oh I knew it! my best friend is ___” afterward.
I make great effort to say people's names correctly...because IT'S A NAME!!! It's someone's identity!
We have a significant number of people who've migrated to Australia from South-east Asia and I'm often unfamiliar with how to pronounce their names correctly....so....I make sn effort!
Sometimes they might say "It doesn't matter", well it matters to me, for them.
Orlando, I'm going to make even MORE of an effort now, thanks to you sharing this!
I'm a Nordic-looking blonde female, so I'm not a target for either malignant or clueless, inadvertent racists. However, hundreds of people have felt compelled to tell me blonde jokes, all of which are misogynistic and therefore infuriating. And I may be extremely blonde, but I am not stupid. You would be stunned by the number of people who assume that I'm dumb on the basis of my hair color alone. Gah!! I also have name issues, but I'll spare you those. Not sure what my point is here. Just empathizing, I guess. And for the record, I adore the Spanish language (especially Mexican Spanish), and Mexico City captured my heart years ago--the public art! the architecture! the people! the ubiquitous representations of a unique history! the small museos and the big ones too but especially the small ones tucked away in neighborhoods! I'd move there immediately if only my family weren't all Great Lakers....
I used to do a lot of hiring, and often people with names unfamiliar to me would say, “You can just call me Mary” or some other anglicized version of their name. I would always respond, “Or, we could take a minute and learn how to correctly pronounce your name.”
I feel your pain! I am female and my name is Timmi. It is an everyday occurrence to have to explain my name and how to spell it. I can’t tell you how many people insist on calling me Tammy! Ugh!!!! To make matters worse my maiden name was Tackett ~yes! Timmi Tackett! I had no interest in keeping my maiden name or hyphenating it when I got married! However, it is me. I own it.
Names and the identity tied to them—this has been on my mind lately. My husband's last name is Stephens (mine is Wu), and I never really considered changing it when we got married. For me, it'd definitely feel like an erasure of identity to remove "Wu" from my name. There's also a sort of cognitive dissonance in having a white-passing name like Stephens precede me that makes me uncomfortable, almost like I'm misrepresenting myself. For example, if I submit my resume somewhere and people see "Stephens" and then a Taiwanese woman shows up to the interview, is that weird?
I totally get wondering what it'd be like to change your name to something more white-passing, though. My husband and I have a little cabin in a rural town in Colorado, and though I kept my last name, whenever I contact contractors or service people in the area, I actually use his last name and go by Teresa Stephens over the phone. I even made a second email address for that correspondence specifically. Do I think the majority of people are going to be outwardly racist toward me? Probably not. But I've been around here long enough to know that rural Colorado can have pockets of prejudice and they definitely don't see many Asians... so it feels easier just to be a Stephens.
Oh I love this story because I can feel it so hard after spending two full years at Londo Lodge. As a gay person who grew up in this area and knows how conservative it is, I realized I was innately fearful of meeting new people here because I was worried they would all be homophobic (to my surprise most weren't). It's weird to be a minority in a rural place where you don't know how you're going to be received. But for me part of buying the house was about occupying space in an area I'd previously felt I wasn't welcome in. Sounds like you're doing some similar trailblazing. Thank you for sharing!
As someone with a hard to understand and pronounce correctly name, I feel your pain. I am white, ethnically Jewish. I was named Sona, pronounced "SOna", not Sonya or Sonia. Practically everyone ads the "ya" even though my name is spelled as it sounds phonetically. I was named for my Russian Jewish great grandmother, whose name was Sonia. My parents just should have left it as it was LOL. But, I like having a different name and I don’t mind explaining it to people. If I met you, I might be curious about your the origin of your name and I might ask you about it. But I would be doing so out of a genuine desire to connect with you and know more about you. I would be mortified if I knew that it felt tedious and uncomfortable for you. I’m a social worker and am always eager to learn about people and their stories. So I ask a lot of questions. My husband jokes, "be careful, she’s getting your social history!"
I bet if people showed genuine interest in learning about your name and your heritage, it wouldn't feel so exhausting. I think your name is protecting you from dumb, self involved jerks and there are just a lot of them out there, unfortunately. This is why the universe invented pets.
I get it. I've spent half my life spelling and explaining my name to people who don't care about getting it right. When I first read your name, I read it like the Florida city. The minute you started talking about Londo Lodge, I realized I had been mispronouncing it. So maybe just say "OrlOndo, like Londo Lodge". If they ask where is that, you can say it's a gorgeous vacation house in the mountains. Even if they don't get your name right, maybe they'll rent it. 😆
Do you think you'd process me differently if I had a different name? Be honest.
No, you look like a “Logan”.
I fully understand this and will immediately switch to calling you OrlOndo instead of OrlAndo in my head. Since I first heard about you when someone mentioned your lovely anti-fireplace-tv stance on ig this morning, I don't feel like I've been misnaming you for tooo long.
I do absolutely feel your pain as I am from Ireland but live in Germany and many people have difficulty pronouncing my really very simple first name and surname, even after I've told them. Add to that the fact that there are also a couple of 'jokes' for both my names that I have been hearing for decades. Yep, I feel your pain.
I never knew why your house was called Londo Lodge ;-) I don't have a lot of insight on this, especially as I am neither a Native English nor Spanish speaker, but my gut reaction is, it's probably smarter to change one's name as an adult than as a teenager : at 16, I would probably have picked something trendy and then live with eternal regrets! (This is not saying that you need to change your name, btw)
My name is Marie. Not Mary. Not Maria. My maiden name is hard to pronounce--when my brother was having chemo, he started counting all the variations people used. I 'think he got to 10 before the game lost its appeal. My married name is even worse. It's pronounced WATT'er'lun. So many people, even those I've known for years, put the stress on the LOND. And then they spell it Waterland. I've lost count of how many places I've bee"mn to where I'ver been a customer/patient/client for years, and been told I don't exist in their accounts. Sigh.
Also my "mother tongue", my first language, is French. I can also get by in Spanish. I think being bilingual is a wonderful advantage, and I don't get offended when I hear other langu..ages spoken around me. But that's a rant for another day
Being from South Africa, with 11 official languages, as a white person, I make a concerted effort to listen and ask if I’m pronouncing their name correctly. I’m sure it drives a lot of people insane with our lack of understanding or care. Come to Cape Town, people will listen and hear.
Sometimes people need you to give them the answer so it doesn't become a question. A friend of mine introduces herself as "Oni, like Toni without the T". That saves her time and energy every single time.
Unfortunately, a lot of people can have "simple brain" reactions to even the most basic names. I have always gone by my full, first name, Catherine. Two syllables (Kath-rin). There have been many occasions when I've introduced myself as Catherine and the person decides that they'd rather just call me Cathy...because that's easier? It's still just two syllables. No time was saved by shortening my name. However, after reading your story, I realized that perhaps people thought they heard Cathy and I've spent all this time being angry for no reason! Also, I've been called stuck up for going by Catherine, rather than by a shortened version, for reasons I will never understand.
I literally thought you were orMOMdo for a minute. She has the same name and same spelling and she gets CATHY'd all the time LOL.
It’s my rule to call people in the way they wish to be called. It is respectful, and I think most people I have met feel the same way. Sadly too many people that I’ve met do not feel that way.
For as long as I’ve followed you on social media, I’m used to Orlando (as Or-Lon-do). I’m sorry to hear you are encountering friction because of your name. It says a lot about those people’s character and worldview.
LOVE THIS. It’s natural to be curious where someone is from but it’s annoying when no questions where white people are from. It’s like “what race are you because you don’t belong here”. As an Asian I’m constantly asked “where are you from?” Which is the nice way of asking your race. I’d get this question 3x a day as a retail worker. It’s exhausting and I’d always just say Canada to make people really earn it. A good policy, never ask! If it doesn’t come up naturally it’s unimportant. I know a lot of Asians that were adopted by white parents who have no connection with their birth country at all who have to awkwardly listen to “oh I knew it! my best friend is ___” afterward.
I make great effort to say people's names correctly...because IT'S A NAME!!! It's someone's identity!
We have a significant number of people who've migrated to Australia from South-east Asia and I'm often unfamiliar with how to pronounce their names correctly....so....I make sn effort!
Sometimes they might say "It doesn't matter", well it matters to me, for them.
Orlando, I'm going to make even MORE of an effort now, thanks to you sharing this!
LONDO for the win!😘
I'm a Nordic-looking blonde female, so I'm not a target for either malignant or clueless, inadvertent racists. However, hundreds of people have felt compelled to tell me blonde jokes, all of which are misogynistic and therefore infuriating. And I may be extremely blonde, but I am not stupid. You would be stunned by the number of people who assume that I'm dumb on the basis of my hair color alone. Gah!! I also have name issues, but I'll spare you those. Not sure what my point is here. Just empathizing, I guess. And for the record, I adore the Spanish language (especially Mexican Spanish), and Mexico City captured my heart years ago--the public art! the architecture! the people! the ubiquitous representations of a unique history! the small museos and the big ones too but especially the small ones tucked away in neighborhoods! I'd move there immediately if only my family weren't all Great Lakers....
I used to do a lot of hiring, and often people with names unfamiliar to me would say, “You can just call me Mary” or some other anglicized version of their name. I would always respond, “Or, we could take a minute and learn how to correctly pronounce your name.”
I feel your pain! I am female and my name is Timmi. It is an everyday occurrence to have to explain my name and how to spell it. I can’t tell you how many people insist on calling me Tammy! Ugh!!!! To make matters worse my maiden name was Tackett ~yes! Timmi Tackett! I had no interest in keeping my maiden name or hyphenating it when I got married! However, it is me. I own it.
Names and the identity tied to them—this has been on my mind lately. My husband's last name is Stephens (mine is Wu), and I never really considered changing it when we got married. For me, it'd definitely feel like an erasure of identity to remove "Wu" from my name. There's also a sort of cognitive dissonance in having a white-passing name like Stephens precede me that makes me uncomfortable, almost like I'm misrepresenting myself. For example, if I submit my resume somewhere and people see "Stephens" and then a Taiwanese woman shows up to the interview, is that weird?
I totally get wondering what it'd be like to change your name to something more white-passing, though. My husband and I have a little cabin in a rural town in Colorado, and though I kept my last name, whenever I contact contractors or service people in the area, I actually use his last name and go by Teresa Stephens over the phone. I even made a second email address for that correspondence specifically. Do I think the majority of people are going to be outwardly racist toward me? Probably not. But I've been around here long enough to know that rural Colorado can have pockets of prejudice and they definitely don't see many Asians... so it feels easier just to be a Stephens.
Oh I love this story because I can feel it so hard after spending two full years at Londo Lodge. As a gay person who grew up in this area and knows how conservative it is, I realized I was innately fearful of meeting new people here because I was worried they would all be homophobic (to my surprise most weren't). It's weird to be a minority in a rural place where you don't know how you're going to be received. But for me part of buying the house was about occupying space in an area I'd previously felt I wasn't welcome in. Sounds like you're doing some similar trailblazing. Thank you for sharing!
As someone with a hard to understand and pronounce correctly name, I feel your pain. I am white, ethnically Jewish. I was named Sona, pronounced "SOna", not Sonya or Sonia. Practically everyone ads the "ya" even though my name is spelled as it sounds phonetically. I was named for my Russian Jewish great grandmother, whose name was Sonia. My parents just should have left it as it was LOL. But, I like having a different name and I don’t mind explaining it to people. If I met you, I might be curious about your the origin of your name and I might ask you about it. But I would be doing so out of a genuine desire to connect with you and know more about you. I would be mortified if I knew that it felt tedious and uncomfortable for you. I’m a social worker and am always eager to learn about people and their stories. So I ask a lot of questions. My husband jokes, "be careful, she’s getting your social history!"
I bet if people showed genuine interest in learning about your name and your heritage, it wouldn't feel so exhausting. I think your name is protecting you from dumb, self involved jerks and there are just a lot of them out there, unfortunately. This is why the universe invented pets.
I get it. I've spent half my life spelling and explaining my name to people who don't care about getting it right. When I first read your name, I read it like the Florida city. The minute you started talking about Londo Lodge, I realized I had been mispronouncing it. So maybe just say "OrlOndo, like Londo Lodge". If they ask where is that, you can say it's a gorgeous vacation house in the mountains. Even if they don't get your name right, maybe they'll rent it. 😆