i'm aligned with orMOMdo – rent out your yosemite place! all this time, i thought you were delaying renting because it wasn't up to Airbnb / VRBO code. do it! especially this time of year before fire / snow season.
here in the midwest, we are currently experiencing a drought, and i attended a garden walk in a town near me last weekend. the event is prolific, popular, competitive to enter, etc. one of the homes on this year's walk had a section that was clearly scorched by our lack of summer storms. in the middle of the rough patch, they set up a station that said "what would you plant here?" and had a box for written responses. all our gardens are suffering from the same drought. we all get it! and i appreciated that they didn't spend money on annuals to fill it in, just for the sake of a garden walk.
if you decide to rent, you could do something similar – maybe set up a guest book with a note that it's your first rental season and ask guests to tell you what they'd change about your home. it could be kind of a fun exercise! like what was their favorite part of your home during their stay, and what's something they'd be excited to see should they return. as a guest, it would remind me that this home is a work in progress, not a hotel chain.
my favorite kind of content is before / after, and even better if there's an after-after, to show how things continue to progress.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” --> I read this phrase once and you’ve reminded me I need to stop comparing my home and just be grateful for the beauty and function I’ve managed to improve. Gratitude is a good antidote.
Me too! The first time I looked at the pic I didn't see it at all, had to look for it the second time. Maybe the big H is only relevant to the people scanning for that kind of information? Maybe the signaling is irrelevant to those who don't care about it's message?
Thanks for sharing. I was a homeowner for 18 years, and sold my house last year as part of a divorce. I moved into an apartment, and can I tell you - I LOVE IT. We set aside money each month to cover improvements, etc., and it was NEVER enough. Everything costs $3,000. Minimum. We had a gorgeous, 117-year old home with original floors and windows, and that meant the problems of a century-old home. Getting plants each year was more than $500. Gutter cleaning. Window washing. You name it. In my new place I've had my dishwasher repaired and serviced twice. Someone replaces the air filters for me. Shovels. Mows. You get the idea. I like how Ramit Sethi says something like "if you rent, that's the most you pay a month. If you own, the mortgage is the least you pay for housing a month." Another good friend - who was a banker for 20 years - said that "owning a home is not a savings. It's a lifestyle choice."
To that I say - do what you want! It's your money! And having been on both sides, and now feeling the absence of worry - I didn't realize how much mental weight it carried. The worry. The wanting to always improve. The need to maintain on items that no one say - support beams in the basement. Regrading for run-off. Resurfacing the driveway. Repairing shifting plaster. Sidewalk assessments.
There have been such profound economic shifts in our country. I live in Portland, and see so many formerly affordable small homes. It's great for people who have lived there for 20 or 30 or 40 years. But I look at the current housing prices, and wonder where younger, replacement owners will come from. We are so far away from post WW II and the GI bill that allowed so many people to buy their own homes.
I appreciate that you tell us about some of these seismic changes in your own life. It is really valuable to me that you are open about your situation. I hear you.
At one point, I felt like I had eaten a whole menu of DIY and quick turnaround projects on TV, but never felt satisfied, maybe even uneasy. I turned back to This Old House on PBS. Their projects take months. They minimize the finesse and explain what it really takes to fix up an old house. While I will always adore what you do, I needed that reality check.
I agree about the impulse to control, and finding it in one's own home. I'm pretty sure that is one of the reasons why I am so engaged in cooking. It's made up for a lot of lousy days at the office, and bosses who seemed to have way more control over my life than I want.
It's hard to have much of a perspective on COVID, and the economics since, let's say the 2008 recession. Two professionals in the housing industry (a mortgage broker and a realtor) recently told my kids that Millennials are far more risk adverse on housing loans than previous generations. Take a recession, a pandemic, maybe throw in student loans: who wouldn't be risk adverse? It is a rational response to getting a big punch in the nose on one's personal prospects. That is what we call a real trend, for so many, many people.
I enjoyed hearing about the Addams Family (I'm clearly in that family), but also your resistance to buying into trends. We are living in an era of way too many formulaic designs. What you do is so much more than that.
I don't have any particular insights, but I think it was very wise of you to find a way to invest in a house. Even as bad as conditions are now, it's just about the only way for most of us to build personal wealth.
The only concrete idea I can offer is to maybe look at the SBA (Small Business Administration), they offer free business advice. The consultants are either retired small business owners or retired federal employees who understand small business. I don't think you should be thinking about an SBA loan, but maybe free advice. Someone on your side. Your professional field may be too much of a reach, but maybe there is someone. Feel free to ignore this.
A friend of mine used to sing the Merle Haggard song, "If we make it through September", but it became SeptemberOctoberNovember, etc. That's where a lot of us are right now.
Wishing you well, wishing you health, wishing you peace.
I grew up with limited resources and have internalized the “don’t let people see you struggle” anxiety that was modeled to me. Make your house look nice so people think you are a real adult and have your life together. Hide your mess and chaos from the world. Currently working through a lot of guilt, shame and morality around WHAT my space looks like rather than whether it is FUNCTIONAL and meets my needs. I have an old house and there are always other projects to be tackled - I do enjoy the process and have learned that the timeline is never quick. I also have a huge garden and spend hours fussing - am trying to put in drought tolerant and native plants and grow more from seed. I can save more money if I am patient / delay gratification / do the work myself.
👏👏👏 Yes to Addams family and the whole reason I love your writing is because of what comes through beyond the design stuff. “Sign me up for all the detritus floating around this person’s head! I’m in.” Also: YES to all the invisible classism. My partner and I are from different backgrounds and it feels like a subversive thing to reject the inherent snobbery of my youth by saying, “In this house we will buy vintage couches and have zero matching lamps,” etc. It feels sane and values-affirming (books over everything), even though it definitely has less cache and sometimes we are like, “wait, are we actual grownups?” even though we have two kids. Even that is a little bit fun, a little bit of an f.u. to the idea that we have to slave away to live our best throw pillow life. That said, I love a gd throw pillow! Sending you expedient vrbo timelines and brand partnerships like rain. Your spaces are pretty and we love the “secret” little weirdo inside them. 🤸♀️💓
Yes! I had a friend who said 30 yrs ago, "there's no virtue in matching furniture" and that line has reminded me many times not to throw money at things I don't like because they look "right" and I only buy things I love, which turns out they have or make their own harmony.
Yes! My mom is a huge fan of this theory of dressing. Buy what you like and it will go together eventually. Turns out she was definitely right about clothing and I like to apply it everywhere: friends, books, food, throw pillows….guess I don’t buy my friends lol but you know what I mean 😆
I’m currently agonizing because gray walls are “over” but I actually really like my wall color (Benjamin Moore Horizon) and feel like the cool shade makes my house look cleaner than a warm shade would.
But I’m embarrassed because it makes my house look very 2018, which is stupid because 2018 was only 5 years ago.
If you like your wall color, you should keep it!!! In the history of home design, changing every 7 years has never been normal. It's only because we have been exposed to it so much on social media that we feel the pressure for our home to be "fashionable". Not only is this an excessive financial burden, it's terrible for the environment. Homes are meant to be a collection of what you love and what speaks to you. This is something that happens over TIME and the best designers in the history will attest to this. So I'm giving you permission to live in and love your BM Horizon!!
The people who flipped our house 6+ years ago painted most of the interior Sea Salt by Sherwin Williams. I recently read that this color is OUT. But I don't care because it's a nice neutral backdrop for the colorful and fun art/furniture we have everywhere. Plus there's no way I'm disassembling this place now. It's way too personalized to go through that much drama. So I feel you b/c for a moment I thought, "I can't have a paint color that's OUT."
I painted my house gray in 2020 because I had 2 days to decide a color and it went with the roof. I plan to cover half of it up with a garden, but I feel so dumb. We won’t even talk about the horrible laminate that is gray when it was supposed to be natural and was installed when I couldn’t get to the house to verify. I look at I all now and think oh no what did I do, but we like what we like. I still like the Benjamin Moore Pigeon outside and Marilyn’s dress in the common rooms but it looks so over trend. Oh well.
Keep the gray. Get new pillows. Honestly, the warm cool thing is more important than what's on trend, some rooms/houses sing with cool or gray, and wouldn't look as nice in warm or beige. My sister's only design advice would be to avoid 🤡 house with too many colors room to room. Keep your base theme in what is soothing for you.
Thank you for making me pause and think about my own design motivations. (Why do I *really* want these expensive bespoke throw pillows from Etsy anyway?) Your honesty, thoughtfulness and humor always cut through the noise.
Hi Orlando, I think you are spot on in regard to how and why we fuss with our homes. I'm not judging it, but it isn't something my parents did. I think we must get a squirt of serotonin when we find just the right thing, or finish a project, or even get a compliment. And, that can become habit-forming. I love your honesty. Hang in there!
Oooh…lots to chew on here! I am, finally, at a place in my life where my home doesn’t have to please anyone but me. There are a lot of things I’d change it I could, starting with the kitchen, but I finally have appliances I like (hated the ones that came with the place) and while I really dislike the window treatment (blinds? Really?) and backsplash and I’m not very fond of the countertop (ugly granite), they are all things I can live with.
I have Thoughts about what I see on so many home-Reno shows too. I’d never just hand someone a wodge of money and let them design my home with no input from me! In fact, when my husband and I added on to our house, we had an architect draw up the plans then asked contractors to bid on the project. (We picked the middle bidder and were very pleased.) I just can’t imagine letting someone else pick out my sofa and wall decor etc. So it’s probably a good thing I haven’t got the money to do that!
Anyway, I enjoy looking at your content and it does give me ideas of what I could do to spruce up this place.
And I agree with your mom. Make the place presentable, rent it out a few times, it doesn’t need to be perfect! It just needs to “work” well.
You bring up some great points Orlando. I've thought about this in relation to my own interest in having a home that is lovely. My parents didn't have much interest in how our house/yard looked when I was growing up and it embarrassed me. When I became an adult, I realized I'd made an unconscious vow to take pride in my home and that it would always look nice. The desire for my home to reflect me increased even more as I became more comfortable with myself + figured out who I really was. My home isn't fancy, but it's well-cared for, unique, fun, and cozy.
Oh my goodness can you write well. I get it and I truly don’t know what else you could have done—you have probably pivoted back and forth so many times in past three years with your spaces and jobs and just life. How can a designer have a “ugly” space on view for all to see? Well if anyone could it would be you Orlando because you have people who like you just as you come. But yeah—the stress—the finances—the stress. Keep holding on and you will look back on this time and tell the tale like an old timey old man. Thanks for the great essay.
I love the depths you go to in all that you are contemplating… I’d imagine too, that design; love of beauty is something in our biology. I recall being in 7th grade drawing floor plans at my friend’s home and being inspired by what her mother had done to the home; coordinating curtains with the couch all in blues and greens. It seemed so sophisticated for a little rural farm town.
I pursued design in college; but that was the early 80’s, where we still used drafting tables and T-squares. CAD was on the cusp, and I still used a typewriter for other homework or my own architectural style lettering for design projects.
Upon graduating, I moved to L.A. and was shocked by the sticker price of homes - even just to rent! I wound up in a teensy bottom part of a duplex that was all of 400 square feet. Unused forklift crates to throw my mattress that had lined the bed of my pickup truck (remember, I grew up in a rural area) and took hand me downs and thrift store finds for other furniture needs. Pier One became my place for a few accessories.
Fast forward through work in real estate to ultimately owning a mortgage company, and getting married to a man with four young boys… I finally had a beautiful home in a swanky neighborhood, that he had just finished building and I went down a lot of rabbit holes to decorate. Both inside and outside. Taking out the tennis court for a resort-like pool. Adding dozens of trees to make it an oasis. Over my 17 years there, it was a constant process of improving, and acquiring. We sold it in 2018 and put everything in storage not knowing where we wanted to move. We loved an Orange County and rented a tiny place, then found a lovely townhome that was a drastic downsize from our former home; two bedrooms and 2,800 square feet. I hated the floors and countertops (all a Tommy Bahama vibe) so made it my own with a more beach boho vibe. When 8 moving trucks descended, I had one stay put for what I’d put in storage (it took three truck fulls) and Habitat for Humanity took the equivalent of two trucks. Unpacking was initially like Christmas; the joy of discovery, but quickly turned to tedium as so many things that were sentimental loved, didn’t have a place or fit in to the home.
Covid came, and the doom and gloom was amplified by my sister dying, my dog dying, and my dad dying from March to August… and then it got worse. Devious cousins tried to steal my dad’s farm, my husband had an ongoing series of health crises, and two of the boys were struggling with addictions and mental health problems.
My salvation was finding a cabin in the Colorado mountains. I’d always dreamed of owning a cabin, since visiting my great grandparent’s on Lake Superior. It had great bones but needed help and the focus on design and details counteracted all of the heaviness in my life. Not to say there weren’t headaches, as you so aptly describe, the actual process can bear many complications… yet, most of my collected treasures had perhaps been accumulated with a cabin in mind. My first bed I ever bought - after my fork lift crate one - was a pine sleigh bed. Perfect for a cabin! It’s become a hodgepodge of all my loves; a sort of amalgamation of my entire life of interests and history. And I love it just for me!
Yet, the other lessons I’m learning at nearing 60 years of life on this planet; is how much we’ve created to satiate our soul’s craving for beauty and nesting. I watch the wildlife and marvel at the simplicity in which they exist. A part of me longs for that.
Well, your musings inspired mine and further mine… and wonder; why ARE we doing this?!
I really appreciate your discussion of class, (so influential but rarely acknowledged) and also the cost of constant acquisition & renovation to our beleaguered environment.
i'm aligned with orMOMdo – rent out your yosemite place! all this time, i thought you were delaying renting because it wasn't up to Airbnb / VRBO code. do it! especially this time of year before fire / snow season.
here in the midwest, we are currently experiencing a drought, and i attended a garden walk in a town near me last weekend. the event is prolific, popular, competitive to enter, etc. one of the homes on this year's walk had a section that was clearly scorched by our lack of summer storms. in the middle of the rough patch, they set up a station that said "what would you plant here?" and had a box for written responses. all our gardens are suffering from the same drought. we all get it! and i appreciated that they didn't spend money on annuals to fill it in, just for the sake of a garden walk.
if you decide to rent, you could do something similar – maybe set up a guest book with a note that it's your first rental season and ask guests to tell you what they'd change about your home. it could be kind of a fun exercise! like what was their favorite part of your home during their stay, and what's something they'd be excited to see should they return. as a guest, it would remind me that this home is a work in progress, not a hotel chain.
my favorite kind of content is before / after, and even better if there's an after-after, to show how things continue to progress.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” --> I read this phrase once and you’ve reminded me I need to stop comparing my home and just be grateful for the beauty and function I’ve managed to improve. Gratitude is a good antidote.
Thank you for this. I suspect we would all better off by applying this quote to every facet of our lives.
what's wrong with me? I love your design failure and mentally blocked the Hermes throw.
Me too! The first time I looked at the pic I didn't see it at all, had to look for it the second time. Maybe the big H is only relevant to the people scanning for that kind of information? Maybe the signaling is irrelevant to those who don't care about it's message?
Thanks for sharing. I was a homeowner for 18 years, and sold my house last year as part of a divorce. I moved into an apartment, and can I tell you - I LOVE IT. We set aside money each month to cover improvements, etc., and it was NEVER enough. Everything costs $3,000. Minimum. We had a gorgeous, 117-year old home with original floors and windows, and that meant the problems of a century-old home. Getting plants each year was more than $500. Gutter cleaning. Window washing. You name it. In my new place I've had my dishwasher repaired and serviced twice. Someone replaces the air filters for me. Shovels. Mows. You get the idea. I like how Ramit Sethi says something like "if you rent, that's the most you pay a month. If you own, the mortgage is the least you pay for housing a month." Another good friend - who was a banker for 20 years - said that "owning a home is not a savings. It's a lifestyle choice."
To that I say - do what you want! It's your money! And having been on both sides, and now feeling the absence of worry - I didn't realize how much mental weight it carried. The worry. The wanting to always improve. The need to maintain on items that no one say - support beams in the basement. Regrading for run-off. Resurfacing the driveway. Repairing shifting plaster. Sidewalk assessments.
Home worries? Poof! Gone!
My fiance and I have a running joke that all of our home improvement projects cost $5000. And it's not really a joke b/c it's true! :)
Right?! Funny because it's true :)
Orlando, thank you for this piece.
There have been such profound economic shifts in our country. I live in Portland, and see so many formerly affordable small homes. It's great for people who have lived there for 20 or 30 or 40 years. But I look at the current housing prices, and wonder where younger, replacement owners will come from. We are so far away from post WW II and the GI bill that allowed so many people to buy their own homes.
I appreciate that you tell us about some of these seismic changes in your own life. It is really valuable to me that you are open about your situation. I hear you.
At one point, I felt like I had eaten a whole menu of DIY and quick turnaround projects on TV, but never felt satisfied, maybe even uneasy. I turned back to This Old House on PBS. Their projects take months. They minimize the finesse and explain what it really takes to fix up an old house. While I will always adore what you do, I needed that reality check.
I agree about the impulse to control, and finding it in one's own home. I'm pretty sure that is one of the reasons why I am so engaged in cooking. It's made up for a lot of lousy days at the office, and bosses who seemed to have way more control over my life than I want.
It's hard to have much of a perspective on COVID, and the economics since, let's say the 2008 recession. Two professionals in the housing industry (a mortgage broker and a realtor) recently told my kids that Millennials are far more risk adverse on housing loans than previous generations. Take a recession, a pandemic, maybe throw in student loans: who wouldn't be risk adverse? It is a rational response to getting a big punch in the nose on one's personal prospects. That is what we call a real trend, for so many, many people.
I enjoyed hearing about the Addams Family (I'm clearly in that family), but also your resistance to buying into trends. We are living in an era of way too many formulaic designs. What you do is so much more than that.
I don't have any particular insights, but I think it was very wise of you to find a way to invest in a house. Even as bad as conditions are now, it's just about the only way for most of us to build personal wealth.
The only concrete idea I can offer is to maybe look at the SBA (Small Business Administration), they offer free business advice. The consultants are either retired small business owners or retired federal employees who understand small business. I don't think you should be thinking about an SBA loan, but maybe free advice. Someone on your side. Your professional field may be too much of a reach, but maybe there is someone. Feel free to ignore this.
A friend of mine used to sing the Merle Haggard song, "If we make it through September", but it became SeptemberOctoberNovember, etc. That's where a lot of us are right now.
Wishing you well, wishing you health, wishing you peace.
I grew up with limited resources and have internalized the “don’t let people see you struggle” anxiety that was modeled to me. Make your house look nice so people think you are a real adult and have your life together. Hide your mess and chaos from the world. Currently working through a lot of guilt, shame and morality around WHAT my space looks like rather than whether it is FUNCTIONAL and meets my needs. I have an old house and there are always other projects to be tackled - I do enjoy the process and have learned that the timeline is never quick. I also have a huge garden and spend hours fussing - am trying to put in drought tolerant and native plants and grow more from seed. I can save more money if I am patient / delay gratification / do the work myself.
👏👏👏 Yes to Addams family and the whole reason I love your writing is because of what comes through beyond the design stuff. “Sign me up for all the detritus floating around this person’s head! I’m in.” Also: YES to all the invisible classism. My partner and I are from different backgrounds and it feels like a subversive thing to reject the inherent snobbery of my youth by saying, “In this house we will buy vintage couches and have zero matching lamps,” etc. It feels sane and values-affirming (books over everything), even though it definitely has less cache and sometimes we are like, “wait, are we actual grownups?” even though we have two kids. Even that is a little bit fun, a little bit of an f.u. to the idea that we have to slave away to live our best throw pillow life. That said, I love a gd throw pillow! Sending you expedient vrbo timelines and brand partnerships like rain. Your spaces are pretty and we love the “secret” little weirdo inside them. 🤸♀️💓
Yes! I had a friend who said 30 yrs ago, "there's no virtue in matching furniture" and that line has reminded me many times not to throw money at things I don't like because they look "right" and I only buy things I love, which turns out they have or make their own harmony.
Yes! My mom is a huge fan of this theory of dressing. Buy what you like and it will go together eventually. Turns out she was definitely right about clothing and I like to apply it everywhere: friends, books, food, throw pillows….guess I don’t buy my friends lol but you know what I mean 😆
I’m currently agonizing because gray walls are “over” but I actually really like my wall color (Benjamin Moore Horizon) and feel like the cool shade makes my house look cleaner than a warm shade would.
But I’m embarrassed because it makes my house look very 2018, which is stupid because 2018 was only 5 years ago.
So that’s where my head is. It’s so dumb.
If you like your wall color, you should keep it!!! In the history of home design, changing every 7 years has never been normal. It's only because we have been exposed to it so much on social media that we feel the pressure for our home to be "fashionable". Not only is this an excessive financial burden, it's terrible for the environment. Homes are meant to be a collection of what you love and what speaks to you. This is something that happens over TIME and the best designers in the history will attest to this. So I'm giving you permission to live in and love your BM Horizon!!
The people who flipped our house 6+ years ago painted most of the interior Sea Salt by Sherwin Williams. I recently read that this color is OUT. But I don't care because it's a nice neutral backdrop for the colorful and fun art/furniture we have everywhere. Plus there's no way I'm disassembling this place now. It's way too personalized to go through that much drama. So I feel you b/c for a moment I thought, "I can't have a paint color that's OUT."
I painted my house gray in 2020 because I had 2 days to decide a color and it went with the roof. I plan to cover half of it up with a garden, but I feel so dumb. We won’t even talk about the horrible laminate that is gray when it was supposed to be natural and was installed when I couldn’t get to the house to verify. I look at I all now and think oh no what did I do, but we like what we like. I still like the Benjamin Moore Pigeon outside and Marilyn’s dress in the common rooms but it looks so over trend. Oh well.
Keep the gray. Get new pillows. Honestly, the warm cool thing is more important than what's on trend, some rooms/houses sing with cool or gray, and wouldn't look as nice in warm or beige. My sister's only design advice would be to avoid 🤡 house with too many colors room to room. Keep your base theme in what is soothing for you.
Thank you for making me pause and think about my own design motivations. (Why do I *really* want these expensive bespoke throw pillows from Etsy anyway?) Your honesty, thoughtfulness and humor always cut through the noise.
Hi Orlando, I think you are spot on in regard to how and why we fuss with our homes. I'm not judging it, but it isn't something my parents did. I think we must get a squirt of serotonin when we find just the right thing, or finish a project, or even get a compliment. And, that can become habit-forming. I love your honesty. Hang in there!
Oooh…lots to chew on here! I am, finally, at a place in my life where my home doesn’t have to please anyone but me. There are a lot of things I’d change it I could, starting with the kitchen, but I finally have appliances I like (hated the ones that came with the place) and while I really dislike the window treatment (blinds? Really?) and backsplash and I’m not very fond of the countertop (ugly granite), they are all things I can live with.
I have Thoughts about what I see on so many home-Reno shows too. I’d never just hand someone a wodge of money and let them design my home with no input from me! In fact, when my husband and I added on to our house, we had an architect draw up the plans then asked contractors to bid on the project. (We picked the middle bidder and were very pleased.) I just can’t imagine letting someone else pick out my sofa and wall decor etc. So it’s probably a good thing I haven’t got the money to do that!
Anyway, I enjoy looking at your content and it does give me ideas of what I could do to spruce up this place.
And I agree with your mom. Make the place presentable, rent it out a few times, it doesn’t need to be perfect! It just needs to “work” well.
I so appreciate your honesty! Keep up the good observations and writing!
You bring up some great points Orlando. I've thought about this in relation to my own interest in having a home that is lovely. My parents didn't have much interest in how our house/yard looked when I was growing up and it embarrassed me. When I became an adult, I realized I'd made an unconscious vow to take pride in my home and that it would always look nice. The desire for my home to reflect me increased even more as I became more comfortable with myself + figured out who I really was. My home isn't fancy, but it's well-cared for, unique, fun, and cozy.
Oh my goodness can you write well. I get it and I truly don’t know what else you could have done—you have probably pivoted back and forth so many times in past three years with your spaces and jobs and just life. How can a designer have a “ugly” space on view for all to see? Well if anyone could it would be you Orlando because you have people who like you just as you come. But yeah—the stress—the finances—the stress. Keep holding on and you will look back on this time and tell the tale like an old timey old man. Thanks for the great essay.
I love the depths you go to in all that you are contemplating… I’d imagine too, that design; love of beauty is something in our biology. I recall being in 7th grade drawing floor plans at my friend’s home and being inspired by what her mother had done to the home; coordinating curtains with the couch all in blues and greens. It seemed so sophisticated for a little rural farm town.
I pursued design in college; but that was the early 80’s, where we still used drafting tables and T-squares. CAD was on the cusp, and I still used a typewriter for other homework or my own architectural style lettering for design projects.
Upon graduating, I moved to L.A. and was shocked by the sticker price of homes - even just to rent! I wound up in a teensy bottom part of a duplex that was all of 400 square feet. Unused forklift crates to throw my mattress that had lined the bed of my pickup truck (remember, I grew up in a rural area) and took hand me downs and thrift store finds for other furniture needs. Pier One became my place for a few accessories.
Fast forward through work in real estate to ultimately owning a mortgage company, and getting married to a man with four young boys… I finally had a beautiful home in a swanky neighborhood, that he had just finished building and I went down a lot of rabbit holes to decorate. Both inside and outside. Taking out the tennis court for a resort-like pool. Adding dozens of trees to make it an oasis. Over my 17 years there, it was a constant process of improving, and acquiring. We sold it in 2018 and put everything in storage not knowing where we wanted to move. We loved an Orange County and rented a tiny place, then found a lovely townhome that was a drastic downsize from our former home; two bedrooms and 2,800 square feet. I hated the floors and countertops (all a Tommy Bahama vibe) so made it my own with a more beach boho vibe. When 8 moving trucks descended, I had one stay put for what I’d put in storage (it took three truck fulls) and Habitat for Humanity took the equivalent of two trucks. Unpacking was initially like Christmas; the joy of discovery, but quickly turned to tedium as so many things that were sentimental loved, didn’t have a place or fit in to the home.
Covid came, and the doom and gloom was amplified by my sister dying, my dog dying, and my dad dying from March to August… and then it got worse. Devious cousins tried to steal my dad’s farm, my husband had an ongoing series of health crises, and two of the boys were struggling with addictions and mental health problems.
My salvation was finding a cabin in the Colorado mountains. I’d always dreamed of owning a cabin, since visiting my great grandparent’s on Lake Superior. It had great bones but needed help and the focus on design and details counteracted all of the heaviness in my life. Not to say there weren’t headaches, as you so aptly describe, the actual process can bear many complications… yet, most of my collected treasures had perhaps been accumulated with a cabin in mind. My first bed I ever bought - after my fork lift crate one - was a pine sleigh bed. Perfect for a cabin! It’s become a hodgepodge of all my loves; a sort of amalgamation of my entire life of interests and history. And I love it just for me!
Yet, the other lessons I’m learning at nearing 60 years of life on this planet; is how much we’ve created to satiate our soul’s craving for beauty and nesting. I watch the wildlife and marvel at the simplicity in which they exist. A part of me longs for that.
Well, your musings inspired mine and further mine… and wonder; why ARE we doing this?!
This is beautiful. So very sorry for your losses.
I really appreciate your discussion of class, (so influential but rarely acknowledged) and also the cost of constant acquisition & renovation to our beleaguered environment.