Orlando, you make me smile and chuckle…and I’m a cranky misanthrope, so that’s no easy feat!
Have you read/are you familiar with Samantha Irby (@bitchesgottaeat on Instagram)? She’s a humor essayist and TV screenwriter, and this post made me think of her writing. I could see a similar career path in your future 👀 If you haven’t read any of her books, do yourself a favor and start with We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. It’ll have you LOLing and ROFLing until you’re LIAPOYOUUTB (lying in a pool of your own urine unable to breathe). You know, in a good way.
And to answer your question: Andrew Scott (duh), that guy from my local farm CSA, and you! Okay bye.
Ha! You just convinced me that my word(s) for 2024 is HOT GUYS and I'm going to make it a point to look for them every day. I've taken a break from that because ugh straight men are kind of the worst. But I've had a rough couple of years too, that's I think behind me, and objectifying men for a year feels like the vibe.
This essay had me laughing out loud and giggling/crying while I read it out loud to my fella. I reread it at least 3 times. And became a paid subscriber because I’ve not laughed this hard in ages! I can’t wait to see you experience True Love’s First Kiss this year, at the gym, of course!
You are a hot guy I like! I live in a rural area so it’s slim pickings in the eye candy department. On my list: Brawny paper towel guy who is probably an actual lumberjack, Walmart western wear Mexican who is somehow always in the meat department, and wholesome clean-cut white dude who wears clothes his wife picks out and irons.
LOL!!! I love the stories you make up about the gym rats. Alright, alright, alright, my hot guy who is way too young for me but is a fellow Texan and Austinite is Matthew McConaughey! Maybe I'll run into him at MY gym! LOL
I love this so much. I lived in West Hollywood during my last years in high school and I always felt so safe. Going out of the neighborhood was not fun and I will just leave it at that.
This was the most fun thing I've read in years. Truly, I know it's been a horrific few years so the bar is low, but this went way high. Thank you for your service, Orlando 🫡
Love this post! There is a guy on Instagram who sings songs about "Hot Gay Guys" and this reminded me of that. SO funny. I also want to know who the Ohio gays are because I am in Ohio and I want to be friends.
Orlando, you make me smile and chuckle…and I’m a cranky misanthrope, so that’s no easy feat!
Have you read/are you familiar with Samantha Irby (@bitchesgottaeat on Instagram)? She’s a humor essayist and TV screenwriter, and this post made me think of her writing. I could see a similar career path in your future 👀 If you haven’t read any of her books, do yourself a favor and start with We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. It’ll have you LOLing and ROFLing until you’re LIAPOYOUUTB (lying in a pool of your own urine unable to breathe). You know, in a good way.
And to answer your question: Andrew Scott (duh), that guy from my local farm CSA, and you! Okay bye.
Ha! You just convinced me that my word(s) for 2024 is HOT GUYS and I'm going to make it a point to look for them every day. I've taken a break from that because ugh straight men are kind of the worst. But I've had a rough couple of years too, that's I think behind me, and objectifying men for a year feels like the vibe.
I was having a really bad day, and then I snorted laughing at this. So, thank you for writing and sharing this with us.
This essay had me laughing out loud and giggling/crying while I read it out loud to my fella. I reread it at least 3 times. And became a paid subscriber because I’ve not laughed this hard in ages! I can’t wait to see you experience True Love’s First Kiss this year, at the gym, of course!
I’m loving your vibe this year! You deserve it!!!!
This is hysterical! Hope your dreams come true!
You are a hot guy I like! I live in a rural area so it’s slim pickings in the eye candy department. On my list: Brawny paper towel guy who is probably an actual lumberjack, Walmart western wear Mexican who is somehow always in the meat department, and wholesome clean-cut white dude who wears clothes his wife picks out and irons.
LOL!!! I love the stories you make up about the gym rats. Alright, alright, alright, my hot guy who is way too young for me but is a fellow Texan and Austinite is Matthew McConaughey! Maybe I'll run into him at MY gym! LOL
I love this so much. I lived in West Hollywood during my last years in high school and I always felt so safe. Going out of the neighborhood was not fun and I will just leave it at that.
This was the most fun thing I've read in years. Truly, I know it's been a horrific few years so the bar is low, but this went way high. Thank you for your service, Orlando 🫡
Best sleepover convo EVER!
Love this post! There is a guy on Instagram who sings songs about "Hot Gay Guys" and this reminded me of that. SO funny. I also want to know who the Ohio gays are because I am in Ohio and I want to be friends.